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Post Ep | Romance | General | Drama
Yes it's true we had a deal. I told Abbey that I wouldn't run for reelection. Sometimes I am mad at myself that I ever said I wouldn't run again. This country needs a strong leader, and I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I do believe I am that man. Leo convinced me of it three years ago when he told me to run for President of the United States.
I thought at first that I would not make a good leader of the free world. And now look around. Millions of new jobs, many more children in school, less people in poverty. All because of what my staff and myself have accomplished in the last two years.
And now I may never get that chance again. I may never be able to see my second family all together after this term is up. All because of the deal.
Let me tell you something. I love my wife dearly, and she loves me and supports me in any way she can. I am afraid that she won't support me in this though. Yes, I Josiah Bartlet am afraid. I'm not afraid to admit that. I think more people should. Toby never really admitted it when I told him about my MS. He just stepped outside and when he came back in, we had a yelling match.
I sometimes wonder what my staff, other than Leo, would think if I were to tell them that I made a deal with Abbey to only run for one term. The only thing they know is that I may not run a second time due to the fact that I hid my MS from the world. I know that wasn't the smartest move ever, but it was part of our deal to not tell anyone.
For so long it was only fourteen people that knew about the MS. My family, the doctors, Hoynes, Fitzwallace, and Leo. I may be forgetting some people in there. I've never had a good memory. Sometimes I wish my granddaughter could be added to the list of people who knew before Abbey and I went on national television and told the world. She is young, but she is around the age Zoey was when she found out about my disease. I wish it was still a secret. We wouldn't be in a war with ourselves had we told everyone. I am still led to wonder why it is that Toby was the one to figure out that something wasn't right. He's a smart man though. They are all smart people.
If only I hadn't had an episode that one day, I would have been fine. The secret would probably still be known to fourteen people. Well, fifteen, if you count Dr. Lee at GW. But he had to be told because of the anesthetics I was given during my surgery.
I can't dwell on the past. I must move ahead, move forward to make way for what is coming next and maybe even who is coming next. If I don't run, someone has to and we have to put ourselves behind Hoynes. We want to keep a Democratic White House. Hoynes is the best man for the job. That is only if I decide not to run. Do I break it? Do I break a deal I made with my wife three years ago? I love her, but I also love this country. I love my staff. But most importantly, I love my job. I get to run this wonderful country of ours. Sure, there are some drawbacks.
For instance, I don't particularily like bombing another country, I don't like starting wars with other countries, and I don't like having to enforce the death penalty.
What is my next move? That is a question I have been asking myself over and over again. I don't know if running is the right thing to do. If Abbey says it's alright, then I will run again. If Abbey says it isn't alright, that I stop after this term, then I will have to keep up my end of the bargain. I will not run if she doesn't want me to. The problem is, I want to. I want to run again. I want to run and win. I want to remain the leader of the free world for another four years. But there is something blocking my way. It is the deal we made. Maybe I should talk to her about it. Maybe I should tell her that this is what I feel is the right thing to do. I know I should tell her that, and that is exactly what I am going to do. I will tell Abbey, the love of my life, that I want to run for reelection. I only hope that she can see past the deal and see me telling her that this is the right thing to do. I am going to tell her right now that I want to run and be the President of the United States for another four years.
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